During my life I've acquired many trades and traits from the negative life of crime, to video editing, carpentry, home remodeling, gaming, music, sports coaching, mechanic, cooking, you name it, Scotty does it.

Most importantly I became a great personal development coach!

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So what got me into coaching? MY FAILURES!

Starting with the time I became an expecting father. Growing up I had a lot of male role models, but I wouldn't consider them positive. Nearly all of them were overworked, underpaid, alcoholics, drug users, and always looking for a way to escape reality. With that being said, I mostly learned what NOT to do in life. But still didn't necessarily understand what was supposed to be done.  

My wife, girlfriend of 3 months at the time, got pregnant, actually a funny story but I'll save for another time. When I found out she was pregnant, she had two kids prior to me, who's dad wasn't necessarily involved in their life. I thought to myself "Fuck.... I have two kids and one on the way". Instantly, no sense of wanting to evade the matter. That was my mindset. I was clueless, I didn't know what to do, I was renting a room and had just bought a 96 Impala, which isn't exactly family friendly.

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So what did I do? I drowned myself in work, and overtime, and the more I worked, the less I had to do at home... So I thought. We elevated from apartment, to better apartment, to owning our own home. From car, to bigger car, to minivan. From no sports, to soccer, baseball, football, gymnastics, wrestling, theater and more. 

At this point I worked up to 90 hours a week and was never fully present. With my children, with my wife, with myself. Which ultimately I always thought I was doing the right thing. We had a better car, but it wasn't the one my wife wanted that was a little extra. We had a house in our name, but it wasn't the one my wife picked, because this house was closer to my job. Decision after decision was like this and ultimately it began to separate me from my family, how?

 

I'm providing everything they need, we have a house, we have a car, We have food. We have new clothes, and all of the kids are in sports, grades are good.... What am I doing wrong? I was "leading" on my own.
* Imagine you depending on your parents for necessities. They buy you clothes, but it's always a size or two too big, because it's convenient for them for you to grow into them. Meanwhile, you're constantly expressing to them that you're uncomfortable, and they're never taking your words into consideration.*
 

I was providing.... That's it. I was providing everything except a father to my kids, and a husband to my wife.

I didn't have the time or energy to listen to my kids, and I wasn't taking my wife's voice into consideration. I was working two jobs, so when I got home I felt it would be appropriate if I "Relaxed", "Got comfortable, "Have a cold one". When in reality, this is the time my wife was depending on me to get a break. Arguments would happen, "You're home all day, why do you need a break", type of mindset. This ultimately led to us being enemies subconsciously. This is when my wife "Lost herself". I'm sure you've heard this before. 

*When it comes to situations like this with your spouse, it's easy to become enemies. Picture you two playing tennis. You have singles, and you have doubles. Singles you're against the each other, back and forth. What we didn't learn at the time is that we should always find a way to play doubles, and it would be us against anyone in our way.*

I didn't react accordingly, became emotionally exhausted, fell weak, and my wife and I entered into some extremely dark times and were on serious grounds for divorce. But we didn't. This took a lot of healing, a lot of ego humbling, a lot of time, and most importantly, a lot of communication.

 

Through this process, we've learned so much. Healing as a couple, rebuilding as individuals, and personally reconstructing the man/father that my family deserved the entire time. I removed my inner bitch voice, removed everything which didn't involve the growth of my family and me, and elevation was all we seen. 

Ultimately what I learned was that I was always focusing on problems and never the true solutions. The problem was I always tried to figure out, "What do I need to do?", "What do I have to get"?

Instead I should've been asking, "Who do I need to become?", "How do I harness the discipline to achieve that"?

 

Once I started living my live in this manner, results came. As the results came, my body transformed. That's when I realized my physical appearance was nothing more than proof of the internal discipline I received during my personal growth. That's when the questions started to roll in. "What did you do"? "How did you do it"?

That's when I would respond, "Not what... Who"?

 

So I'll ask you the same thing. "Who do you have to become to attract the lifestyle you desire"?

In order to get what you've never had, you must do what you've never done.

 

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

IS IT DAY ONE?

OR

WILL YOU ALWAYS SAY "ONE DAY"?